Personalise Your Power

Why the hell am I doing this?

You ask yourself this question every day.

You get up, get dressed, go to work and you don’t really know why. The money comes in and it’s great, but then you think back over the last pay period and you realise it’s not actually that much. Not when you hold it up against that sick feeling you get when your boss walks in, or the dreams that wake you in the early hours or the frustration of paying all your bills and finding there’s not much left, certainly not for things you want to do, rather than things you have to do.

You’re always tired, you eat the wrong things and the weekend goes far too fast. Your entire life is controlled by a job you don’t even really enjoy. You know you can do more, you know you can be more but you have no idea how to get to doing it. You’re not even really sure what you want to do instead, you just know it’s not this.

I’m Mhairi and I’ve been there. In fact, for most of the last sixteen years, that was my life. Bouncing from one well-paid (or not so well-paid) job to the next, talking myself into one position after another, always hoping this next one would be THE ONE. The one where I felt like I belonged. The one where I felt valued. The one where I was free to build the job into my own.

Last year I finally realised it was never going to happen. On ever-escalating doses of antidepressants, I’d ditched my full time job for a part-time position I thought was going to change my life. It did. I ended up broke, ill and sleeping in my mother’s home office.

But in the midst of all this, I had made a decision. I wasn’t going to work for anyone else anymore. The only way to be sure my work worked for me was to work for myself. Even then, it’s taken months for me to accept that not only do I have choices, I already know what the right one is. You already know what the right choice is for you, too. You know why you do what you do and you know how to change it. You just need to learn how to interpret the information.

The world is yours for the taking.